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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Silent needles

I'm afraid I can't knit right now.

My boyfriend of six years broke up with me and I am unable to continue knitting as a result. It's odd - for him knitting has brought great comfort during a difficult time. But for me, it has given me too many memories and difficult times to face.

A tangle in a ball reminds me of how he'd patiently sit and unwind the ferocious knots that somehow find their way into my knitting, all the time cheekily berating me for making such a mess. I'd like to sit quietly and knit at the end of my sofa, but that reminds me of all the times I did that to escape the problems we had.

My Central Park Hoodie was supposed to keep me warm on our Valentine's Day trip to New York City, but I just cannot bring myself to finish it now. Besides, I am crap at picking up stitches for edgings - that was his job. It just needs finishing, but I can't do it.

I read such inspirational stories about how people knit through the greatest adversities. But I just can't. I don't seem to even be able to pick up the needles. It's hard to inspire yourself to make something beautiful if you feel so ugly inside.

So expect this place to be quiet for a little while.

Kelly [ 4:46 PM ]
11 comments

11 Comments:

Sorry for your loss... I enjoy your blog...feel better soon. Hang out with other knitters for support and encouragement. You will survive this!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:46 PM, January 18, 2007  

oh i'm sorry. take care.

By Blogger BrownPants, at 9:52 PM, January 18, 2007  

i know it doesnt cover it but *big hug*

By Blogger curlyjenny, at 10:17 PM, January 18, 2007  

I'm so sorry to hear this. :(

By Blogger Christina, at 6:39 PM, January 19, 2007  

I'm so sorry.

xxx

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:49 PM, January 20, 2007  

Take care of yourself. Big hug from me, too.

Don't knit until you feel like it, I quite agree.
[And when you do feel like knitting again, perhaps pull everything still on the needles undone and start afresh with something wonderful just for you?]

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:06 PM, January 21, 2007  

I'm sorry to hear this, I hope you feel better soon.

By Blogger itslikearuin, at 8:16 PM, January 21, 2007  

I'm so sorry, that sucks. I hope you will find a way to reclaim it in time.

By Blogger DDKK, at 5:33 PM, January 22, 2007  

Knitting may not be with you right now but all us knitters are.

Take care lovely.

By Blogger Ignoble Jen, at 7:31 PM, January 30, 2007  

Feel better soon, love :(

By Blogger Anushka, at 2:05 PM, February 03, 2007  

I am in a similar situation and I really understand - and oddly enough, I too have a Central Park Hoodie which I can't bring myself to finish.

I know I will want to knit again at some point, but I'm not forcing it. I'm doing other things that are unrelated to my broken heart instead. For example, I've started painting (badly) again, and I do a lot more cooking, oh and I'm going to do a charity trek in peru (because I also lost my oldest friend very recently) to honor her memory, so that means lots of training and fundraising.

Take very good care of yourself. Do anything to take your mind off things, indulge yourself if you can and read some good books (ones that don't hurt too much), and all your blog readers will be reading and waiting for when you get back on that horse.

All the best!

By Blogger Charlotte Frost, at 7:00 PM, March 04, 2007  

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